Behind the Mask
by Mina - the Shadow Nomad
Summary: Hinata isn't who she says she is. Who is she behind the stutter, behind the mask? And what happens when the mask comes off? No parings yet, probably going to be Sakura bashing.
1. Chapter 1

I don't own Naruto. Normally I would put some funny remark here, but I am tired, and depressed. I am sorry I haven't updated my other stories in a while, but I have been busy, because I have a life, and sometimes it gets in the way of this. So don't bug me. **Or else.**

………………………………………………………………………………………………

_You don't know my name  
you don't know anything about me  
_No one paid attention to me. They barely knew my name. They didn't care. They never asked me how I was. Not even Kiba. He said 'Hi' when he had to, he talked to me during missions, but other than that he avoided me. I wonder if they would care if I took off my mask. Or if the mask shattered.

_I try to play nice  
I want to be in your game _

I'm nice to everyone. I've never yelled or gotten mad at anyone. I've always encouraged everyone. I suffered Father's wrath because I wanted to stop Hanabi from getting the seal! So why am I always left out? Why was I always left there standing by myself? I always thought that if I was nice people would like me._  
The things that you say  
You may think I never hear about them  
But word travels fast _

They talk about me when they think I can't hear. They insult me, they call me weak. I know about it. I know everything they say. They don't know anything about me. They ignore me, they gossip about me, they disrespect me. _  
I'm telling you to your face  
I'm standing here behind your back_

I give them hints. They are so obvious. I'm basically telling them I know what they say, what they think. But they are so oblivious. They then turn around and gossip more when they think I'm not right there. So often I'm right behind them.

_You don't know how it feels  
To be outside the crowd_

I'm hurt even if I don't show it. I invite them to every birthday party I have, hoping they'll come. They don't even bother to tell me that they can't come. They never come. Every year I sit at home and make my wish. It never comes true._  
You don't know what it's like  
To be left out _

Some of them have had it good. Some have never been left out. Others vaguely know. If they once did know they have forgotten. After all, who can remember being thirsty?_  
And you don't know how it feels   
To be your own best friend on the outside looking in_

I never had a friend. Almost with Neji, but then his father died. Then he hated me. I've always had to be my only friend. I even talk to myself. I was never comforted by anyone. I was never held, never protected. I was only left alone. I watch those who have friends as I pass by. I'm always pushed to the outside.

_If you could read my mind  
You might see more of me that meets the eye _

If they could read my mind, they would know how strong I really am. They would know how my Byakugan had different powers. They would be able to see what others have never seen. To see the real me. The one behind the mask. The one that had power they will never know. The one who had known true, unadulterated agony._  
And you've been all wrong  
Not who you think I am  
You've never given me a chance_

They just assume I'm telling the truth. They never did deeper than the surface. Once they thought I was weak they didn't even give me a first chance, let alone a second. They never acknowledge my accomplishments. They never notice how I want to cry. They barely look at me. They all hate me.

_You don't know how it feels  
To be outside the crowd_

The crowd of people all having a good time. The crowd of happiness. I've almost never felt that. I've never felt what its like to be surrounded by people who like you, and are also having a good time. Never._  
You don't know what it's like  
To be left out _

They don't know how it feels to be me. They don't know how much they hurt me. How they changed me. They will never understand that, no matter how hard they try. I have never, not from the moment I was born, felt love, not even the pretense of love. My father hated me because I was a girl, and looked weak. My mother hated me because I had weakened her. Everyone hated me._  
And you don't know how it feels  
To be your own best friend on the outside looking in_

No one should know. No one knows. No one but me.

_Well, I'm tired of staying at home  
I'm bored and alone  
I'm sick of wasting all my time_

I want to go to a party. I want to know what fun feels like. I want to have a friend to visit. But I've never been invited to a party. I've never had fun. I have no friend to visit.

_You don't know how it feels  
To be outside the crowd  
You don't know what it's like  
To be left out _

It feels awful. You feel unhappy, depressed, unloved, angry, and empty all at the same time._  
And you don't know how it feels  
To be your own best friend on the outside looking in_

_You don't know how it feels  
To be outside the crowd _

You have no friends to comfort you, nor family to love you. You have to be strong, you have to pretend like it's all right. You have to cry in the middle of the night, when you're all alone. When no one can hear you._  
You don't know what it's like  
To be left out _

To be hated, to be sad, to have your heart ripped out and shared by a thousand people. And the worst part is, you still have to be strong and not react, although you are dying._  
And you don't know how it feels  
To be your own best friend on the outside looking in_

One day, one day soon they will all pay for what they have done. I have been only nice, I have been strong, but they still hurt me. Soon, very soon they will have not only great physical pain, but the pain of knowing that if they had been nicer, if they had accepted me, this never would have happened. And the worst part, they will have to live with that, live with the fact that people, innocent people, were killed because of them. As I once read, killers are made, not born.

I switched the radio off. It was funny how many songs I could make fit me. I picked up a silver book with a yin and yang symbol on it. I flipped through it, reviewing several poems and lyrics I had written. Here's a song I had written:

_I like black_

_And I like white_

_I like being in the center_

_And being out of sight_

_I'm a girly-girl_

_And a tomboy too_

_I want to be different_

_But I want to be just like you_

_I'm conflicted_

_I'm confused_

_I can't decide_

_I just can't choose_

_Who am I?_

_I'm yin and yang in one_

_I love the moon_

_But I love the sun_

_I'm glad to be me_

_But I want to transform_

_Into something better_

_I'm so torn_

_I'm conflicted_

_I'm confused_

_I want to decide  
I really want to choose_

_I can't fix me_

_I want it to go away_

_I'm going crazy_

_It won't go away_

_I'm yin and yang_

_All in one being_

_I can only hope_

_That I will end up seeing_

_The way out of this_

_The way for me_

_So I will finally know_

_Who I should be_

I hated hiding who I was, especially because the person I did it for didn't appreciate it. But I was so used to it, I couldn't help it. I suppose you're wondering how the previous song applies to only me. Well, I'll make a list.

Sasuke: First he had his family that loved him. Then he still had his fan club, always pulling him into the crowd. He takes it for granted.

Sakura: She was mocked, but still she had a family. And then she had friends.

Naruto: He had Iruka. He was alone for a while, yes, but he had someone, something to blame. He didn't have to know that this was self-inflicted. And then he got drawn into the crowd.

Kiba: He always had a family and friends.

Shino: His family loves him and is proud of him. He chooses to avoid people. Besides, he has and has always had his bugs.

Ino: She was always outgoing and had friends and family.

Shikamaru: He had a group of friends, and then left them for a best friend. Besides, he had family.

Chouji: Again, had family, then friends.

Neji: He had his father, then he had the Sasuke situation.

Tenten: I don't think she has a family, but she's always had friends.

Lee: Lee may have been teased, but I think he still had a family, and then he had Gai and his youth thing.

Temari: I think she always had friends.

Kankuro: At the worst of times, he had his sister and his puppet.

Gaara: He had Yashomaru for a while, and then he had his demon, and then he was drawn into the crowd.

I never had family, nor friends. People didn't even bother to insult me in front of my face. It wouldn't hurt so much if they just came out and said they hated me. Instead I have to read their minds to know. Oh, and that is not figurative.

You see, my Byakugan is different. I can't see chakra points so well, but I see far more useful things. For instance, I can read minds, see the future, implant thoughts in people's heads, and many more things. I am far more gifted than Neji or Hanabi. What I have has never before happened in the Hyuuga clan, and I know for I have checked every record there is. There is a chance that there is some undocumented case, but I doubt it. Anyone with a brain would know to write this down. Which is why I am doing this. One day, one day I will reveal myself, and this document can be used to tell the world that yes, the person who did that was Hyuuga Hinata, not an imposter. I want everyone to know how they hurt me. I want them to suffer. But I don't want them to die. Some will appear to die, but they will really just be kidnapped to start a new village. They will forget everything about Konoha, they will be given new identities. I have planned this. I planned every little detail.

I will get my revenge. Nothing will stop me.

_Nothing._


	2. I'm angry

Look, I know I have not updated in a while, but my computer broke, and I have to use a friend's computer to check my email, and she is barely allowing me to type this. Nevertheless, for everyone who hates what I have been typing, suck it up. If you do not like it, do not read it. It is rude to make fun of someone through private messaging. I bet if those who burned me in reviews were brave enough to actually leave their name, and I went to one of their stories and made fun of it, they would be mad too. Have you ever thought, for just one second, that maybe the story will progress in differently in future chapters? Maybe that journal entry from before was written in self-pity because she needs to get her emotions out and later it will change? However, far be it from me to say that you who insulted my story, way up their on your pedestal, should be wrong. Moreover, I hope that those who insulted me will never fall and have to walk around down here on earth with the rest of us, for they might just see their reflection and realize what monsters they really are for berating and belittling those now around them.


	3. Chapter 2

My computer got fixed! Isn't it great? Well, I wanted to type this quickly so you wouldn't have to wait long, but it's really short. Hinata's 15, a year older from the last chapter, and has changed a little. She's a little more human, and possibly schizophrenic. Anyway, I don't own Naruto, but I do own the idea for this story and Hinata's special Byakugan. Enjoy!

'Had I really written this junk?' I asked myself as I reviewed my diary from last year. My plans had completely changed. I wasn't sure anymore. Do I change suddenly, or slowly? I had to do something, or else I would go mad. I thought about it. I thought about the people that had hated me, rejected me, and felt like I wanted to hurt them, to make them suffer the way I had. But somewhere, part of me said no. 'I can't hurt others like that. I can't.'

'But look at what they did to you!' The other half was mad. 'They hurt you, they killed you. Why don't you respond? You have every right to! '

'No!'

'Yes!'

'No!'

'Yes!'

'God, I feel like I have a devil and angel sitting on my shoulder.' I laid back down in my bed, falling asleep as I wished with all my being that things could be simple **just once.**

"Hinata, if you don't get up, I'm going to pour ice water in your bed!" Hanabi was shouting in my ear. I was confused, disoriented, and someone was yelling in my ear. If you put that all into an equation it would equal me hitting Hanabi. And that's what happened.

I jabbed Hanabi on her neck. She went rigid, and then started to twitch violently. It didn't register that I had done that until I woke up on my own 15 minutes later, and Neji and my father were trying to pick her up.

I guess you can tell that I'm not a morning person.

"Hinata! Who did this to Hanabi?" My father was glaring at me, while Neji was rubbing his temple, where Hanabi had just hit him because of the twitching.

Still a little disoriented, I simply got up, turned Hanabi on her back, and jabbed the back of her neck. I should have been more careful, but I was already thinking of showing my true colors, so why not accept this little push.

And this had nothing to do with the fact that I thought this was all a dream, no nothing at all.

After that I stumbled back into bed, and fell asleep again, blissfully unaware of my family members eyes boring holes into my back.

When I woke up again, I had no memory of what had happened earlier. I had, at the time, believed it was all a dream. I started to go downstairs when I almost slammed into Hanabi.

"Gomennasai, nee-chan," I whispered lowering my eyes to my feet. Surprisingly, she didn't sneer at me. In fact, she acted like she was afraid of me. Her eyes were wide, her mouth slightly open.

"T-that's o-okay, Hinata! R-really, just fine! Um…I-I gotta go…somewhere! Bye!" Hanabi proceeded to … what would be the proper term? Oh, I know, 'run like hell.'

"…………Well, that was odd." I muttered. Had I done anything recently to scare her? Not to my knowledge. I should have enjoyed it more if I did. Oh well.

I continued on my way downstairs, trying to keep as quiet as I could to avoid confrontation with my father. If I had done some thing to Hanabi that made her stutter, then I would really be in for it with Hiashi. I practically jumped down the stairs, and was almost out the door when

"HINATA!" So close!

"Y-yes, father?" I said meekly, walking as slowly as possible toward the dining room.

"Come and sit down." I almost fell down dead from shock. My father had an almost smile on his face, and was inviting me to sit next to him! I always had to sit far away from him except when really important guests came to visit. And still, I was always at least one away from him. Not to mention that he was sort of smiling at me! What in the world could I have done to affect him and Hanabi so? Could that dream have been…no, not at all. I would never have been stupid enough to do that.

"Um, F-father? Why did you invite me to s-sit ne-next to you?" I made myself look innocent and questioning. He, however, looked confused.

"Because of what you did this morning, of course." He said, the confusion giving way to pride. I sat trying to figure it out, as Neji entered the room. I decide to continue acting like I knew nothing.

"What did you do this morning?" I noticed that at this both Neji and my father looked shocked. However, it was Neji who replied.

"You beat Hanabi, of course." Neji was almost shouting, and I noticed a bruises on several parts of his body. What could he mea- Oh no! No, no, no, no, no! Don't tell me I did that! Neji was still talking but I couldn't understand him anymore. At that moment I realized that that dream was not a dream. This was going to be a long day.


End file.
